So 5 of my boyfriends decided to participate in this meme, story unseen.
I will publish their answers first, then add mine to the bottom of the pile (heh heh heh, I said "bottom").
Thanks for playing; pick up your lovely parting gifts on the way out. There will be another, so watch this space!
First up is
Bob
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very
(hairy) and
(scary). He should have a physique like
(Denzel Washington), a profile like
(Emma Stone), and the intelligence of a
(lioness). He must be polite and must always remember to
(trot) my
(meadow), to tip his
(mountain) and to take my
(arm) when crossing the street. He should move
(badly), have an
(amused) voice, and should always dress
(accordingly). I would also like him to be a
(scrawny) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper
(crazy) nothings into my
(legs) and hold my
(excited) (ocean). I know a
(mountain) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is
(Bob).
Next is
Raybeard
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very
(huge) and
(pinkish). He should have a physique like
(Donald Trump), a profile like
(Lady Gaga), and the intelligence of a
(python). He must be polite and must always remember to
(slither) my
(foliage), to tip his
(importance) and to take my
(armpit) when crossing the street. He should move
(squeakily), have an
(aroused) voice, and should always dress
(lustily). I would also like him to be a
(shiny) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper
(miniscule) nothings into my
(right nipple) and hold my
(erect) (tart). I know a
(spittle) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is
(Ginger).
Next is
Jay in VA
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very
(long) and
(soft). He should have a physique like
(Prince Harry), a profile like
(Kim Kardashian), and the intelligence of an
(ape). He must be polite and must always remember to
(drill) my
(phone), to tip his
(envelope) and to take my
(pinkie) when crossing the street. He should move
(quietly), have a
(purple) voice, and should always dress
(loudly). I would also like him to be a
(tiny) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper
(gigantic) nothings into my
(spleen) and hold my
(musical) (music). I know a
(noise) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is
(Harvey).
Next is
The Cajun
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very
(tricky) and
(large). He should have a physique like
(Barbra Streisand), a profile like
(Harry Connick Jr.), and the intelligence of a
(pelican). He must be polite and must always remember to
(fly) my
(swamp), to tip his
(lake) and to take my
(elbow) when crossing the street. He should move
(sorely), have a
(sparkle) voice, and should always dress
(happily). I would also like him to be a
(bend) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper
(sorry) nothings into my
(little finger) and hold my
(pinch) (cake). I know a
(frosting) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is
(Harvey).
Next is
Cubby
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very
(heavy) and
(black). He should have a physique like
(Matt Damon), a profile like
(Daniel Craig), and the intelligence of a
(giant squid). He must be polite and must always remember to
(rummage) my
(sailboat), to tip his
(rudder) and to take my
(elbow) when crossing the street. He should move
(shockingly), have a
(blessed) voice, and should always dress
(deftly). I would also like him to be a
(warm) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper
(delicious) nothings into my
(penis) and hold my
(huge) (sausage). I know a
(sandwich) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is
(Greg).
Personally, my fave is Cubby's; you can't get much more pee-your-pants funny! I had to run to the bathroom after typing that one!
Last but not least, my entry:
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very
sweet and
kind. He should have a physique like
brad pitt, a profile like
matt damon, and the intelligence of a
leopard. He must be polite and must always remember to
stand my
paper, to tip his
ruler and to take my
foot when crossing the street. He should move
slowly, have a
green voice, and should always dress
softly. I would also like him to be a
loud dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper
hard nothings into my
head and hold my
purple can. I know a
book is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is
tom.